Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Random Acts of Kindness, and other matters

Do you ever ask yourself what you are doing and why you are doing it? Now, come on, that isn't necessarily a dumb question!  I was writing away on my NaNo novel this morning when I heard a ding! that signaled a new email.  It was time for a break, so I put my novel on "sleep" and went to my email.  An internet friend from Montana had sent me a story about Root Beer and Twinkies.  I'll try to be brief.

A little boy decided he wanted to talk to God, so he packed up some Root Beer and Twinkies and went on his way.  He stopped in a park, and saw an old man sitting on a bench.  He went over and sat besides him.  The boy was thirsty so he took out a root beer, but then thought the old man looked thirsty, so he gave one to him.  Then he was hungry, so he gave one of his twinkies to the old man.  When he got up to leave, he gave the old man a hug, and got a big smile in return.  Other than that, not a word had been spoken between them.

When the little boy returned home, he told his mother he had lunch with God, and He had the most beautiful smile in the world.  When the old man returned home, he told his son he had lunch with God, and He was a lot younger than he thought He would be.

Random acts of kindness...what a difference such a small thing meant to this child and this old man.  Do you ever think about a random act of kindness that someone has done for or given to you?  Do you ever stop and wonder if anything you've done or said lately is a random act of kindness?

A couple of days ago, I sent an email to another Internet friend who had just lost her mother-in-law, to whom she was very close.  I had also found out that she and her husband were going through several other very bad issues that had popped up unexpectedly.  I sent her a message because I was concerned about her, yet when she responded, she made me feel like I had suddenly given her a million dollars.  A random act of kindness?  Possibly, except it certainly wasn't random on my part because I was thinking about her.

What makes an act of kindnes random?  My message to my friend was deliberate on one hand, and random on the other...random in this case being I hadn't given it a lot of thought.  Her name came to mind, I realized I hadn't seen her around on our writers forum, so I wondered if she was doing all right  since her MIL's death, and I wrote to her.  Would that be considered a "random" act? Or not?

It concerns me greatly that we hear and see in the media every single day about random acts of violence...but how many times do the media carry on about someone's random act of kindness?  Why is that?  Is it that we as a nation, or as a society, have become so inured to violence that it no longer makes an impression, and since we have little media coverage of acts of kindness or of good things happening, they also don't make an impression?

What are the things that matter to us?  Oh, I know, people are going to say...friends, family, church...not necessarily in that order.  But what else?  I don't mean the mundane things like a roof over our heads, food on the table, money coming in, a decent job.  Although today, all of those things are a top priority.

But what else matters?  My husband and I went for a walk yesterday.  We held hands, which we been doing practically since the day we met, some 35 years ago.  We're "senior citizens" so when some young teens walked towards us, they looked pointedly at our hands, our faces, and then...smiled at us.  I wonder what they were thinking...that it was strange that "old people" would be holding hands?  that they hoped when they were our age they had someone to hold hands with?  I don't know, but I hope it was the latter.

So what random acts of kindness have you received lately?  A get-well card from someone unexpectedly?  My husband did.  An email or phone call to see how you're doing, for no particular reason?  That would be well and good.  But the main thing is, what have you done that could be construed as a random act of kindness?

How much time do we spend even thinking about things like this?  As writers, especially, our time is already consumed by writing, editing, revising, sending out queries, doing research...to say nothing of eating, sleeping, house work, taking care of kids and spouses...and life in general.  So time for random acts of anything is precious.

But it only takes a minute...you don't have to bake an extra turkey or a new batch of cookies to take to someone.  How about a smile on the street as you pass an older person waiting for a bus?  How about helping that young mother cross the street with a baby stroller and maybe one or two other kids in tow?  How about giving a hand to the disabled man trying to put groceries from the cart into the trunk of his car?  How about offering your arm to someone walking up or down a hill and trying to keep stable with a cane or a walker?  How about holding the door open for someone in a wheelchair?

Random acts of kindness:  let's try to make them more often, more important, and more newsworthy, than random acts of violence.

Remember:  it only takes a moment.

Until later,
That's a wrap.

Friday, November 5, 2010

It's Time for NaNo!

Today is the 5th day of NaNoWriMo, that crazy month of November when writers like me, who have no sense whatsoever, say goodbye for a month to family, friends, and reason, and begin to write.  Anything.  As long as it ends up with at least 50,000 words on the last day of November.  Of course, it should make some sense, but maybe that's not too important.

I did NaNo for the first time last year, and finished a pretty good middle grade novel...even if I do say so myself.  Then I said I would never do it again. Hmmm.
So why am I doing it now?  Well, after I finished my first novel course with ICL, my antagonist, who was a little ... er...witch, demanded to have her story told, so people would know why she was a little...witch.  But right after I finished the first novel course, I decided to do a second one, so I could get some help with my historical novel.  Consequently, the first NaNo didn't get edited or revised ( yet), and Celine's story didn't get told.

Doing NaNo this year seemed a good excuse for me to get Celine's story going, even though the historical novel isn't finished.  My husband, kids, grandkids, and Corgi all think I'm crazy, but...hey, it isn't the first time for that thought !

The trick is to just write...whatever thoughts come to mind.  I would imagine this is difficult for writers who like to outline every chapter before they begin a new story, but for pantsters like me, it's old hat.  My main problem is that I'm too much of a perfectionist to "just write" and not stop to "fix" mistakes in spelling or grammar or anything else, for that matter.  That's supposed to be a no-no for NaNo...um, catchy, dontcha' think...a NoNo for NaNo !  Wow, I'm good!  ( actually, I'm just a little punchy right now :(  )

Anyway, every NaNo writer knows we're not supposed to take the time now to fix our mistakes...SPAG or anything else.  But I'm one of these people who cannot live with myself and go on past a glaring error.  So I must admit I take the time to backtrack and do corrections.  Hopefully, this time I'll still come out with at least my 50,000 words...last year, I barely made it at 50,124 or something like that.

I'll try to post at least once a week during this month.  Who knows, I may even post a bit about the story as it goes along.  No promises, though.  In the meantime, for all of you equally insane writers, the best of luck with NaNo, and may we all end up with something understandable and at least 50,000 words!

Until next time,
that's a wrap.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Help! Murder!

Uh, no not really.  What I want to talk about today is how to eliminate those words and phrases that can really kill a story. "Eliminate"..."kill"...= Murder...sigh, oh all right, my attempt at humor failed.

So now can we get down to serious business?  What about all those extraneous words that we all use in our stories that we shouldn't?  Words like "that," "then," "but," "well," and so on.  We all know those, right?  Like the italisized ones in the sentence above.  I should have written: What about all those extraneous words we all use in our stories when we shouldn't.  Better?

Let's shift gears, and talk about phrases. How many of us have read something like this:  Her eyes followed him as he stormed down the walk.  What kind of image does that produce?  A pair of long-lashed eyes bumping along the walk?  Umm...really?

How about:  Her eyes were consumed with passion. Hmm.  The dictionary says "consume" means to use something up in such a way that it cannot be recovered.  Wonder what she did without her eyes when her passion was over?  Then there's:  He claimed he was telling the truth, but his eyes said otherwise.  Did his eyes learn to talk at the same time he did?  That should have been interesting for his parents.

She dropped her eyes in embarrassment. Excuse me?  I hope she dropped them onto something soft, like a bed or a thick carpet.

Here's one I just read by a favorite author of mine:  Unseeing, he looked out at the setting sun.  How can he "look out" at anything, if he can't see?

Here are some more:
Her emerald eyes mesmerized him. ( what was the rest of her body doing?)
Her smokey eyes blazed with fire. ( I guess her eyes would be smokey, if they were on fire.)
Her sultry voice grated on me. ( Why?  are you a piece of cheese?)
His voice came from a long distance. ( That must have been hard on his throat.)
His eyes caught and held hers. ( Hmm...one pair of eyes must have been running away to have been caught by another pair.)
Her heart sang with happiness.  (This is an old favorite...uh, what song was her heart singing? )
I thought to myself. ( Who else would you be thinking to? I used this phrase so many times until I finally realized what I was saying! )

 Enough, all ready!  The point is...when we are editing our work, these are the  kinds of words and phrases we need to especially look out for.  Think about yourself before you write something:  would your eyes be falling out on the bed or onto the carpet?  Or would they be on fire, or chasing another pair down the street?  The same with using voice or any other body part as the subject of your sentence.  It just doesn't work.

These are phrases we read...and write...all the time.  So much so that we usually don't give them a second thought...they are nothing more than cliches.  So be careful during your edits, and if you've written something using eyes or voice or another body part as the subject, change it.  Don't give an editor or an agent the opportunity to think..."she/he is an amateur."

Until next time,
that's a wrap.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Words...and What They Can Do

How many of you grew up knowing the expression "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me?"  Have any of you ever repeated that to your own children?  Do you really believe that words can never hurt someone?

Another young teen committed suicide over the weekend.  Why?  Because he had been bullied.  Oh, not with being hit or jabbed or shoved into lockers or ignored or having his books and papers stolen or ruined.  No, these bullies used words to hurt him.  He was overweight, too heavy to run or play sports.  He was a diabetic, so he had to give himself insulin shots during the school day.  He wore braces and spoke sometimes with a lisp.

He was bullied with words. 'Hey Fatso,'  'lispy wispy,' 'shot jock,' and...I'll leave it to your imagination.  I wonder if his parents ever told him that old saying...Sticks and stones can break my bones, but WORDS can never hurt me.

Excuse me?  Words can never hurt?  Words can sear like a bad burn; words can cut to the quick like a knife thrust; words can penetrate  the heart like a bullet...and...words can kill.  Words stay with you forever.  Sometimes they can be buried in the subconscious, but they're there, nevertheless.  And the more hurtful those words were, the shorter the time for them to stay buried.  They begin to grow and to fester...along with the hurt...until the wound becomes so infected it has to be cured.  And sometimes, the more vulnerable the person is, sometimes the only cure is death.

The teen who died over the weekend is not the first nor will he be the last to die because of words...words deliberately thrown at him or her to create a lasting hurt.

Recently, I read an interview with an author of a middle grade book...her first. ( No, who she is and the name of the book is not important.)  She said that the main reason this particular book was published was because her editor admired the sarcastic, snarky wit, and it appealed to him.  But then she added that she had not realized the book was sarcastic, that was not the voice she had intended.
Hmm...how do you write a story with a sarcastic, snarky voice and not know it?  Sarcasm is not something that everyone can do in their writing.  It's not something that everyone is even comfortable with in talking in conversations.  But she was unaware that the words she was using created a sarcastic voice to the story.

Think about that...she was unaware.  Can that apply to the rest of us in our writing?  Do we get so involved with our story, our plot, our characters, that we are unaware of the voice we are creating?  Are there words, phrases perhaps, that we use so often we neglect to think about their meaning, or how others reading those words could interpret them?  Do we put words into the mouths of our characters whose meaning could be interpreted in ways other than what our characters do?

I'm not saying characters should never be snarky or sarcastic.  I'm not saying that the voice we create should never be either of those.  I AM saying that we should be aware of the words we put into our characters' mouths, of the voice our overall story has, and be aware of the fact that words and intonations can always be interpreted in different ways.  Be AWARE that the voice we intended to create with the words we used is actually the one we created.

Words can kill.  Perhaps that old saying should be reworded to:  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but WORDS can kill me.

I don't know about you, but from now on, I'm going to be very careful about the words I use...in talking, and most of all, in writing.

Until next time,
that's a wrap.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Bully and the Writer

For some time now, I've been thinking about bullying, and wondering if we, as writers, can do something about it.  The statistics on bullying in schools are appalling...more than that, they are frightening because we all know that in some cases, they lead to suicide, attempted suicide, rape, and even attempted murder.  Statistics show that teen suicide is the 3rd leading cause of teen deaths in the US, and the majority of those are due to bullying.

Everyone knows the story of the father of a girl with Cerebral Palsy, who was being bullied on the school bus every single day, and the bus driver did nothing about it.  Finally, the father boarded the bus and screamed at the kids, verbally abused the bus driver, and in return, was arrested.  HE was arrested, but the kids doing the bullying, and the driver who said nothing and did nothing, had no repercussions.  What kind of justice is that?

Then there is the case of Phoebe Prince, the Massachusetes teen who hanged herself in February of this year, because of being bullied and sexually assaulted.  In this case, there are at least 6 teens who have been arrested and charged with bullying, criminal harassment and statutory rape.  Parents all over the state are now calling for the firing of the school administrators who knew this was going on, and did nothing to stop it.  As far as I'm concerned, they are as guilty as the other teens.

The stories and the cases go on and on, each one seemingly worse that the others.  I know what it is like.  I was teased unmercifully in elementary school because I wore glasses, and none of the other kids did.  I was teased because I was from a military family, and had lived in many states and foreign countries, and spoke three languages.  In junior hight ( middle school today) and high school, the teasing became bullying, mostly by girls but sometimes by boys.  I was singing professionally, and sometimes was gone from school on tour, yet I managed to keep a strong A average. When I would return to school, the girls would go from making nasty remarks about my singing and my clothes, to pushing me in the hall ways, to totally ignoring me. If I said anything to a teacher or my parents, it wa always tossed off as the girls being jealous of me.  HAH!

 Boys pretended to like me so I would help them with their studies, especially foreign languages, but would then tell their friends I was not someone to date.  Once I was invited to a school dance, got all ready, but the boy never came to pick me up.  The next day, the girl he actually took and her friends made sure everyone knew I was dumb enough to think I'd really been invited to a dance. Girls would encourage me to join their clubs or "sorority", then when it came time to pledge, would tell me they didn't want "someone like me" around them.   It wasn't the kind of bullying we see today, but it was hurtful and made a lasting impression on me. 

So, what, if anything, can we do as writers?  Does it help to write fictional stories about the bullies and their victims, and then have the bully given his "comeupance" in the end?  Should we write non-fictional articles about the true stories of bullying, and the lasting negative effects on both the bully and his or her victim?

I don't know.  If I had the answer to that question, I could probably make millions of dollars in selling the solution to schools and parents alike.  But something needs to be done, and it needs to be done soon.

I've done some research online, and found that there are a myriad of books already out on bullying...things like what parents should look for in their child's behavior to determine if they are bullying or being bullied; what to do if your child is being bullied, and so on.  But no one seems to write about what to do regarding the school teachers and administrators who often know about the bullying but do nothing about it.  For example, four teens have committed suicide within the last two years at Mentor High School in Mentor,Ohio, all complained to teachers and coaches, who did nothing, and the principal merely chalked the bullying up to "boys being boys."  What kind of stupidity, of sheer crass indifference is that?  Obviously no one at that school has read any of these books, nor, apparently, do they care to.

So what do we do as writers?  We are supposed to have a "great influence" upon society..."we" meaning writers in general.  Are we failing to reach the kids who do the bullying?  Or are we reaching them in our books and articles, but simply not saying what needs to be said...the kinds of things that will change their attitudes?  Or...worse case scenario...does it matter?  Are the kids who bully someone to the extent that he or she takes their life, already beyond the help of anything they could read in a book?  Is this bullying merely a forerunner of worse things to come?

Many times prosecuters will say that criminal behavior begins in the home, and when kids are young.  The behaviors and attitudes that they learn there stay with them for life, and if there is any kind of cruelty or bullying in the home, it will manifest itself in the child in later life.  From having taught Sociology of Criminal Behavior, I know this to be true.  But it is difficult to believe that nothing we can do, say, or write is ever of any help or benefit to a bullying teen.

I don't have the answers.  Do you?  I hope to hear from some of you.

Until next time,
that's a wrap.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Censorship and The Writer

This week ( September 25 - October 1, 2010) is Banned Book Week. Banning books is censorship.  Author Ellen Hopkins was "uninvited" to a teen book festival in a small town in Texas this past summer, because her trilogy of books on drugs was "unacceptable reading" for teens.  Author Sarah Ockler's book, Twenty Boy Summer, has been challenged, not necessarily for content, but because the title sounds "promiscuous," and may be pulled from a high school library.  In Stockton, Missouri, Sherman Alexie's book The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian was removed from the high schools because of jokes about masturbation and some swear words.  Are you kidding me?  High school boys never swear?  They don't know what masturbation is?  From what planet are the adults who removed this book?  On the other hand, perhaps this book was removed because of its clear and unbiased look at racism, a facet of the American culture that this society would much prefer to ignore.

What is the removal of these books teaching our kids?  Isn't it teaching them that it is perfectly okay to judge something on the basis of appearance rather than on the facts? ( Twenty Boy Summer.)  Isn't it teaching them to learn about drugs and sex and violence either from strangers who may entice them into this culture, or by actually entering it on their own? (Crack.) Isn't it teaching them to be embarrassed about a natural part of growing up, and to ignore things you don't understand and hope they will go away? (Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian.)

Is that what you want for your kids or for yourself?  Some narrow minded, usually fanatically inclined, person to tell you and them that they have the right, and your best interests at heart when they say that you must think, talk, act, and believe as they do?  Someone who insists that he or she has the absolute right to make all of your decisions for you in every facet of your life, no matter how personal it might be?  Oh, and if you resist this person, he will simply work harder  to ignite the righteous indigation of people who DO believe as he does, so this small, bigoted group of people can rant and rave, scream, threaten, and carry on until their wishes are carried out, no matter how you feel.

Don't for one minute think that censorship is confined to books alone.  It is not.  Censorship is espoused by religious and political fanatics, by people who want to dictate what movies can be made, what art can be exhibited, what stories can be told, what people can be allowed to live in peace, what values, morals and ethics can be taught to our children, and in fact...what FREEDOMS can be allowed in our society.

Censorship can ( and has ) lead to the outrageously heinous acts of the attempted extermination of an entire society...the American Indians in our Western culture, the Jews in Poland and Eastern Europe in the 1940's...or the enslavement of a culture, such as the blacks kidnapped and brought to the US in the 18th and 19th centures.

Censorship spawns the idea that there is only one right way to do things, and that right way is only what one person or one group of people say it is.  By giving birth to THAT idea, we...or mainly our kids...learn that it's okay to bully someone smaller or weaker or different than you...which in turn leads to the above ideas that it's okay to exterminate or enslave an entire culture.

So what do you do about censorship?  You talk to each other and most of all, you talk to your kids.  When it comes to books, for younger children you can buy or check out at the library only what you want them to read.  But when they are old enough to want to have a say in what they read, then you talk to them.  You tell them what is appropriate for their age and reading/comprehension level, and you guide them in that direction.  When they are old enough to pick out their own reading material, and want to read something you may not approve of, you have a conversation about it...what the book is about, why you're not too pleased with it, bring in the values and morals that you've taught your kids...BUT DON'T REFUSE TO LET THEM READ IT, REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS.  Parental censorship is no better than public censorship.  Let them read the book, but with the understanding that you WILL have a conversation about it afterwards.  Have them tell you what they liked and didn't like, what they understood, what they may have been confused about, and what the book meant to them in terms of what is happening in their own lives, both at home, in school and with their friends.

Nothing can take the place of conversation, open, objective, unemotional ( as much as possible), and completely devoid of a moralistic attitude on your part. Remember that children learn from books, even as teens, and the ideas and attitudes they learn do not have to be "wrong" or derogatory or even scary.  Take the negative out of the situation by having a discussion of the book, the characters, the plot, and how the characters acted and reacted within the plot.  Make it a part of real life, if possible, by comparing that book to something that may have happened in your own lives, in those of friends or family, or even something that happened in the media.  Kids learn from all of these incidents, so make them as positive a learning experience as possible.  Don't let fear and uncertainly become the end result of reading a book.

But the same axiom applies to all the other phases of life that the hatemongers of the world subscribe to...art, music, TV, movies, cultural/religious/ethnic diversity, values, ideas/thoughts/attitudes...in other words, FREEDOM.  Remember that it's not the books or the movies and so on that we need to fear, it is the lunatics, the people who truly believe that they have to right to monitor and/or control everyone else's life, in terms of their right to the freedoms guaranteed us by the US Constitution.  The people who think they have the right to censor and even destroy any one of those freedoms...this element of society is what we have to fear...not the words on a written page.

Until later,
that's a wrap.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

The First Amendment and Banned Book Week

I am ready to spit nails.  September 25 to October 1st is Banned Book Week in the US, and we need to do all we can to support this event, and keep censorship out of the United States of America.

Why am I ready to spit nails?  Because I just read a piece of garbage by a man named Wesley Scroggins.  This man, who merely displays his total ignorance, is trying to get books like Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson, banned from his school district.  Not only that, but he has blasted Slaughterhouse Five, a classic by Kurt Vonnegut, as well as several other books.  The reason?  Well, he considers rape "pornographic" ( are you kidding me??), and SF apparently had the "f" word on every page, several times.  Guess I read the wrong Slaughterhouse Five.

This man is a fundamentalist Christian in Republic, Missouri, whose own children don't go to public school, from what I've read.  They are home-schooled.  Okay, Mr. Scroggins, if you don't want your kids to read these books, that's your perogative, but don't go putting your misguided values and moralistic views on other parents and children.

I wonder if he has even read Speak ?  It is a very sensitively written book about a high school girl who is raped at a party.  She calls 911, but by the time they police get there, she is afraid to say anything, so all her friends think she  just wanted to sabotage the party.  Now they won't have anything to do with her, and she is still afraid to tell anyone about what happened.  Until, that is, the boy tries again, and then all hell breaks loose.

This is a book about date rape...something that adult women, as well as teen girls, experience all the time.  For Scroggins to vilify the book is for him to denigrate all the women, regardless of age, who have had this happen to them.  Every woman, from 14 to 40 and beyond, who is dating, should read this book, and understand that keeping silent from something this terrible happening to them is the wrong thing to do.  SPEAK up and tell parents, teachers, authorities, AND the world what has been done to you and by whom.   Perhaps if more girls and women spoke up, the male sex would (eventually) learn that we are NOT the weaker sex, and we WILL NOT be treated so inhumanely and with such disrespect.

Scroggins is a man who apparently wants to be an ostrich...you know, the "head in the sand" mindset?  He seems to have a problem with any kind of teaching that doesn't adhere strictly to his own very fundamentalist views...he objects to certain parts of history and science courses which teach views other than those of the most fundamental Christian opinions, AND he even objects to certain parts of the Constitution.  This is a man who actually has some sway in school board matters in Republic, Missouri?  I pity the kids who come out of that school district!

Speaking of the Constitution: The First Amendment says:  Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise of; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Book banning is a direct violation of the First Amendment, besides a slap in the face to all of us.  Would you believe that some of the most famous books in history, as well as some of the most powerful new ones, have been banned from local schools and libraries, or have had some very serious debates going on about the need for banning them?  Try these on for size:
Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Uncle Bobby's Wedding, Catcher In The Rye, Twilight, My Sister's Keeper, Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, Speak, Slaughterhouse Five, Twenty Boy Summer, and many, many more.

From Uncle Tom's Cabin and on, the religious fanatacism and gross ignorance of only a small group of  people have ignited the flames of censorship.  Tomorrow I am going to post a few of my thoughts on censorship in general.

In the meantime, support your local schools and libraries in any events they may have going on, concerning Banned Books Week.  Keep our freedom and that of our children to read the books we so choose FREE. 

Until later,
that's a wrap.