Since I'm in the process of doing a final edit and revision on my novel before I start the long journey towards publication, I thought I would write about some of the things I've had to learn about editing along the way.
First, there is the "Which" Hunt: cool phrase, right? Unfortunately, I can't take the credit for it, and don't remember who came up with it, but I heard it at a conference last year. The word "which" usually means "what one" or "which one," as in "Which movie shall we check out." But often we say 'which' when we actually mean "that," as in "The wolf that howled at the moon." Make sure that you've have used "which" properly, and not confused it with "that."
A phrase that I used a lot in my first few drafts, and really got both my critique group and my ICL instructor on my back for, was the phrase "Just then." First, "just" usually means "fair" or "according to the principles of justice." "Just then" almost always is used when you really can be much more descriptive by saying, "Abruptly," or "suddenly," or other adverbs that can attribute a more immediate action than "just then." If you are using the word "just" by itself, look over what you are saying, and see if you don't really mean "simply" or "merely" or...maybe you don't need a modifyer at all.
"A little." "Sort of." "Kind of." I've heard these phrases called "belittlers" because they don't tell the reader anything and belittle our work. How much is a little? How do you measure it? The same with "sort of" or "kind of." What do these phrases really mean? Be specific and don't 'belittle' your writing.
Watch out for caps and italics. You should stay away from capitalization of words, and only use italics when absolutely necessary. I think it's okay to use italics when a character is thinking or talking to herself, but use them carefully and sparingly. As an example, my MC has a "little voice" that talks to her ( no, she's not crazy !) and I use italics when the little voice is speaking. However, keep in mind that when you do use italics, the voice needs to be in the present tense.
I usually indicate my MC is talking to herself or thinking by using a descriptive sentence structure. Example: Okay, I thought as I slammed down the phone, they don't want me over there tonight. Fine, I don't care. If you use this structure, remember to start a new paragraph for the character's thought, and then another new one to indicate a continuance of the story/action.
If you use quotation marks for the thought, you need to make sure the character is actually talking to himself. "I'm not really afraid," AJ said to herself as she walked down the dark street. "I just don't like being on this street by myself at night." Also, remember that you should never say ...he thought to himself. After all, there isn't any other way to think!
When you start to edit, be sure to go through your work paragraph by paragraph and see how many of these extraneous words and phrases you can eliminate to tighten up your work.
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Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Remembering 9/11
September 11th, 2001. Will any American forget this day? I surely won't. My husband and I slept late that morning, for some reason I don't remember now. I went into my study, clicked on my computer and checked my email, which I always do first thing. Several emails jumped out at me without warning...Internet friends in Canada telling me how sorry they were for the horrible things that were happening, and that they were praying for America. Praying for America? Horrible things happening? What in the world....
I immediately turned on the TV, and then screamed for my husband. They were rerunning the first plane crashing into the first Twin Tower. What was going on? How could America be under attack? We were America, for heaven's sake. Nobody messed with us! But someone just did, and for all of our complacency, almost 4,000 innocent Americans died that morning.
Now it is eight years later, and I guess some of the horror of that day is gone...but never forgotten. For those of us who had friends, family, neighbors who died that day, the pain will never go away. For the rest of America, it is the memory that will never go away.
My grandson was ten years old at the time. His class, teacher and students, talked about that day for many weeks to come, as probably, did every classroom in the country. But one day, he asked me a question that I found very hard to answer. He said, Grandma, how come God let this happen? Isn't He always supposed to keep us safe?
I only had one answer for him. I don't know how good or accurate it was, but it was all I could say because it was what I believe. This is what I told him:
God gave every human on this earth a Free Will...a Freedom of Choice. He also gave all of us the tools to make this earth a good and safe place. He gave us intelligence, ability, creativity and knowledge. I'm sure it was His desire that we use those tools to create for ourselves a near-perfect place, where evil could not survive. But we didn't do it. There are people who have created bad things in life, rather than good things. These are the people who have chosen an evil path instead of a good path, but God can't do anything about that. Because if He did, He would have taken the freedom of choice away from them, and then He would have had to take freedom of choice away from those who only do good. God didn't create bad people, He merely created people with the free will to choose the kind of life they wanted for themselves, and there are those who choose evil and those who choose good. We have to live with that, and decide for ourselves which path to take. That's why all humans have Free Will.
My grandson wasn't too satisfied with that answer, but over the years, I believe he has come to understand it.
This is my belief. What is yours?
I immediately turned on the TV, and then screamed for my husband. They were rerunning the first plane crashing into the first Twin Tower. What was going on? How could America be under attack? We were America, for heaven's sake. Nobody messed with us! But someone just did, and for all of our complacency, almost 4,000 innocent Americans died that morning.
Now it is eight years later, and I guess some of the horror of that day is gone...but never forgotten. For those of us who had friends, family, neighbors who died that day, the pain will never go away. For the rest of America, it is the memory that will never go away.
My grandson was ten years old at the time. His class, teacher and students, talked about that day for many weeks to come, as probably, did every classroom in the country. But one day, he asked me a question that I found very hard to answer. He said, Grandma, how come God let this happen? Isn't He always supposed to keep us safe?
I only had one answer for him. I don't know how good or accurate it was, but it was all I could say because it was what I believe. This is what I told him:
God gave every human on this earth a Free Will...a Freedom of Choice. He also gave all of us the tools to make this earth a good and safe place. He gave us intelligence, ability, creativity and knowledge. I'm sure it was His desire that we use those tools to create for ourselves a near-perfect place, where evil could not survive. But we didn't do it. There are people who have created bad things in life, rather than good things. These are the people who have chosen an evil path instead of a good path, but God can't do anything about that. Because if He did, He would have taken the freedom of choice away from them, and then He would have had to take freedom of choice away from those who only do good. God didn't create bad people, He merely created people with the free will to choose the kind of life they wanted for themselves, and there are those who choose evil and those who choose good. We have to live with that, and decide for ourselves which path to take. That's why all humans have Free Will.
My grandson wasn't too satisfied with that answer, but over the years, I believe he has come to understand it.
This is my belief. What is yours?
Friday, September 4, 2009
Similies, Metaphors, and Analogies
Do you ever get confused between similies, metaphors and analogies? I do. I'm forever saying something is a metaphor when actually it is a simile. So, let's talk about these sometimes confusing elements of writing.
A simile is a kind of comparison between two objects or, often, between a human ( character) and an object. They always use the words "like" or "as." In my novel about AJ, when she first met Lisa, she described her as being "as tall and thin as a popsicle stick." Actually, that was a pretty good simile, even if I do say so myself! It immediately brings to mind a popsicle...and what kid doesn't like them? So the reader already has a good idea of what Lisa looks like, and it doesn't matter too much what her eye and hair color are. So, already I'm ahead of the game, because I don't have to spend a lot of descriptive verbage on Lisa's appearance.
The thing is, a lot of times when we write, we get lazy or we get so engrossed in what we are saying that we resort to the first simile that comes to mind. Very often, that simile has become so overused that it is now considered a cliche, which we most definitely don't want to use. Remember this line, which I think is from a famous poem ( although I don't remember which one): My love is like a red, red rose. Others are: She's fat as a pig; he's dumber than a stump; he's as slow as molasses in January. These are very common similies, and probably ones we all think of, or even use in conversation, all the time. But we don't want to use them in writing, especially for kids. When you decide to use a simile, be creative, make up your own and make sure that your reader will have an image come to mind that s/he can relate to.
Then there is the metaphor. Okay, this is another kind of comparison, but one in which we say the person ( or object) is something that it obviously isn't. How about this: "Her eyes were sapphires in her pale face." Well, now we know that this person does not have "sapphires" for eyes. "That boy is a clumsy ox." No, he may be clumsy, but he is not an ox. Once again, when a metaphor doesn't envoke an understandable image in the reader's mind, it shouldn't be used. Like many similies, metaphors that we are the most familiar with have become cliches, and editors frown upon them. The most important thing to remember, however, is that younger children probably don't have enough mental acuity to really understand them.
Finally, there is the analogy. An analogy is a comparison between two things which are actually entirely different. It is the most difficult to write in such a way that children will understand it, so mostly, we shouldn't ! Analogies can be expressed in different ways, too. One example is: Grass is to green as the sky is to blue. Hmm...would a kid understand this? Another way: The sunrise is like a beautifully wrapped birthday present. It's pretty to look at, but beyond that is something brand new. Okay, maybe you can write a better analogy, and one that kids can relate to. As for me, I think I'll stick to a few similies and metaphors!
A simile is a kind of comparison between two objects or, often, between a human ( character) and an object. They always use the words "like" or "as." In my novel about AJ, when she first met Lisa, she described her as being "as tall and thin as a popsicle stick." Actually, that was a pretty good simile, even if I do say so myself! It immediately brings to mind a popsicle...and what kid doesn't like them? So the reader already has a good idea of what Lisa looks like, and it doesn't matter too much what her eye and hair color are. So, already I'm ahead of the game, because I don't have to spend a lot of descriptive verbage on Lisa's appearance.
The thing is, a lot of times when we write, we get lazy or we get so engrossed in what we are saying that we resort to the first simile that comes to mind. Very often, that simile has become so overused that it is now considered a cliche, which we most definitely don't want to use. Remember this line, which I think is from a famous poem ( although I don't remember which one): My love is like a red, red rose. Others are: She's fat as a pig; he's dumber than a stump; he's as slow as molasses in January. These are very common similies, and probably ones we all think of, or even use in conversation, all the time. But we don't want to use them in writing, especially for kids. When you decide to use a simile, be creative, make up your own and make sure that your reader will have an image come to mind that s/he can relate to.
Then there is the metaphor. Okay, this is another kind of comparison, but one in which we say the person ( or object) is something that it obviously isn't. How about this: "Her eyes were sapphires in her pale face." Well, now we know that this person does not have "sapphires" for eyes. "That boy is a clumsy ox." No, he may be clumsy, but he is not an ox. Once again, when a metaphor doesn't envoke an understandable image in the reader's mind, it shouldn't be used. Like many similies, metaphors that we are the most familiar with have become cliches, and editors frown upon them. The most important thing to remember, however, is that younger children probably don't have enough mental acuity to really understand them.
Finally, there is the analogy. An analogy is a comparison between two things which are actually entirely different. It is the most difficult to write in such a way that children will understand it, so mostly, we shouldn't ! Analogies can be expressed in different ways, too. One example is: Grass is to green as the sky is to blue. Hmm...would a kid understand this? Another way: The sunrise is like a beautifully wrapped birthday present. It's pretty to look at, but beyond that is something brand new. Okay, maybe you can write a better analogy, and one that kids can relate to. As for me, I think I'll stick to a few similies and metaphors!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Historical Fiction...or...?
About 2 1/2 years ago, I started writing an historical fiction novel concerning the Underground Railroad and the Civil War. I had spent about a year on the research, including a barge trip down the Ohi0 and Mississippi Rivers to visit some of the sites of both the Civil War and the Underground Railroad. I sent what I had written, as well as the synopsis for the entire book, to my ICL instructor for my last assignment. But when I began the ICL advanced novel course, my new instructor wanted me to write a more contemporary novel, which is the one just completed. Consequently, the historical novel has been on the back burner until now.
In the meantime, I sent the first few chapters to my critique group. One of the women in the group refused to read it, and emailed me that she was leaving the group. Her reason? She felt that because the book concerns slaves and slavery in the South, that she could not read it because she resented the "implication" that plantation owners of that era mistreated their slaves. She also said that she believed that such things should not continue to be written; that if they were not, people would forget about slavery, and would accept the fact that Southerners were good, loving and gentle people.
Well, I won't go into any part of that. We all know how slaves were treated and the despicable fact that some human beings thought it perfectly all right to own other human beings.
My question is: should there even be a genre such as 'historical fiction?' What about history in general? Are there parts of our history, US and World, both, that should never again be written about? Should we never allow our children, grandchildren and succeeding generations learn about slavery, about the fearsome battles for the rights of women to vote, for Civil Rights, about the horrors of Hitler, the Nazi Regime, and the Holocaust?
How do we learn from our past mistakes? How can we assure that these same evils against the human spirit never arise again with future generations, if we don't write about them? What about teaching them in our schools? Should that be forbidden, too?
I never understood this woman's attitude, but I was glad that she chose to leave the group. Personally, I would never refuse to read someone's manuscript simply because I disagreed with the topic they were writing about. I probably would put in a few personal remarks about why I didn't like it, but at least I would read it. And I hope that I would be honest enough to critique it objectively, for the content and how it was written, rather than for the subject matter.
I love history, and I love writing historical fiction. I just wish it didn't take so long to do the research for the many topics I would like to write about. But is this something we should think seriously about? Do we really need to take a second look at the retelling of history, whether it be as fictionalized or as simply fact?
My opinion? I don't think so. Our history is an indelible part of our lives; it is as necessary to learn about it and to understand it as it is to keep current with our world today. Without yesterday, there is no today, and without today, there is no tomorrow. We need to teach our upcoming generations that all of our history is a vital part of who we, as a nation, are, and that they must know what happened yesterday in order not to repeat it tomorrow.
This is what I think. How do you feel?
In the meantime, I sent the first few chapters to my critique group. One of the women in the group refused to read it, and emailed me that she was leaving the group. Her reason? She felt that because the book concerns slaves and slavery in the South, that she could not read it because she resented the "implication" that plantation owners of that era mistreated their slaves. She also said that she believed that such things should not continue to be written; that if they were not, people would forget about slavery, and would accept the fact that Southerners were good, loving and gentle people.
Well, I won't go into any part of that. We all know how slaves were treated and the despicable fact that some human beings thought it perfectly all right to own other human beings.
My question is: should there even be a genre such as 'historical fiction?' What about history in general? Are there parts of our history, US and World, both, that should never again be written about? Should we never allow our children, grandchildren and succeeding generations learn about slavery, about the fearsome battles for the rights of women to vote, for Civil Rights, about the horrors of Hitler, the Nazi Regime, and the Holocaust?
How do we learn from our past mistakes? How can we assure that these same evils against the human spirit never arise again with future generations, if we don't write about them? What about teaching them in our schools? Should that be forbidden, too?
I never understood this woman's attitude, but I was glad that she chose to leave the group. Personally, I would never refuse to read someone's manuscript simply because I disagreed with the topic they were writing about. I probably would put in a few personal remarks about why I didn't like it, but at least I would read it. And I hope that I would be honest enough to critique it objectively, for the content and how it was written, rather than for the subject matter.
I love history, and I love writing historical fiction. I just wish it didn't take so long to do the research for the many topics I would like to write about. But is this something we should think seriously about? Do we really need to take a second look at the retelling of history, whether it be as fictionalized or as simply fact?
My opinion? I don't think so. Our history is an indelible part of our lives; it is as necessary to learn about it and to understand it as it is to keep current with our world today. Without yesterday, there is no today, and without today, there is no tomorrow. We need to teach our upcoming generations that all of our history is a vital part of who we, as a nation, are, and that they must know what happened yesterday in order not to repeat it tomorrow.
This is what I think. How do you feel?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
What Is Happiness?
Someone on one of my literary boards posted the question, what makes you happy? That got me to thinking: what does make me happy?
There are the usual things, like my husband, my children and my grandchildren, but there are other, more subtle, things, too. My Corgi, Dylan, for example. He is the most loving puppy we've ever had, and by far the smartest of all our smart dogs. He figures things out for himself, and generally stays one step ahead of us. What makes me happy about him, though, is when he sits in front of me and "talks." Little sounds low in his throat that mean, 'can I sit in your lap?' or 'will you take me out for a walk?' It makes me happy to see how others respond to him, and how they will say "Oh what a well-behaved puppy he is."
It makes me happy to see the myriad of hummingbirds who flock to the feeders in front of my study window, and who fight each other to see who is going to feed first. One, in particular, always has to have the same feeder tube, no matter who else is there. Their brilliance is breathtaking, and it is amazing that their tiny bodies, which appear so fragile, have the strength to take them hundreds of miles in migration.
I live on the Central Coast of California, and being close to the ocean means we have breathtaking sunsets. It makes me happy to see the many colors of the sky as the sun begins its journey to a different part of the world. It makes me laugh to point out to my husband the pink clouds that are so often in our sky, because he used to say there was no such thing as a 'pink cloud!'
I love the rain, and it makes me happy to feel the cool gentleness of rain upon my face. I rode many miles in the rain when we had our ranch, and although my horses weren't always so happy about it, it was always one of the highlights of the season for me.
It makes me happy to pick up my brush and watch the paint come to life on my canvas as a seascape, a landscape, or one of the many animals of the African woodlands that I love so dearly.
It makes me happy to write: to see an image in my head become a character as real to me as one of my children; to be able to create a life, a family, friends and enemies for that character; and to be able to put that character into a sometimes untenable situation and yet find totally believable ways for her to extract herself, and grow emotionally and spiritually in the process.
These are some of the things that make me happy. What are yours?
There are the usual things, like my husband, my children and my grandchildren, but there are other, more subtle, things, too. My Corgi, Dylan, for example. He is the most loving puppy we've ever had, and by far the smartest of all our smart dogs. He figures things out for himself, and generally stays one step ahead of us. What makes me happy about him, though, is when he sits in front of me and "talks." Little sounds low in his throat that mean, 'can I sit in your lap?' or 'will you take me out for a walk?' It makes me happy to see how others respond to him, and how they will say "Oh what a well-behaved puppy he is."
It makes me happy to see the myriad of hummingbirds who flock to the feeders in front of my study window, and who fight each other to see who is going to feed first. One, in particular, always has to have the same feeder tube, no matter who else is there. Their brilliance is breathtaking, and it is amazing that their tiny bodies, which appear so fragile, have the strength to take them hundreds of miles in migration.
I live on the Central Coast of California, and being close to the ocean means we have breathtaking sunsets. It makes me happy to see the many colors of the sky as the sun begins its journey to a different part of the world. It makes me laugh to point out to my husband the pink clouds that are so often in our sky, because he used to say there was no such thing as a 'pink cloud!'
I love the rain, and it makes me happy to feel the cool gentleness of rain upon my face. I rode many miles in the rain when we had our ranch, and although my horses weren't always so happy about it, it was always one of the highlights of the season for me.
It makes me happy to pick up my brush and watch the paint come to life on my canvas as a seascape, a landscape, or one of the many animals of the African woodlands that I love so dearly.
It makes me happy to write: to see an image in my head become a character as real to me as one of my children; to be able to create a life, a family, friends and enemies for that character; and to be able to put that character into a sometimes untenable situation and yet find totally believable ways for her to extract herself, and grow emotionally and spiritually in the process.
These are some of the things that make me happy. What are yours?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Patience...or the Lack Thereof
How many of you are patient people by nature? I think that most of us have to learn patience, and we usually do that when we become adults, especially parents. But as writers? How much patience do we have to have, or acquire, when we write? We have to be patient when our muse takes off on vacation and leaves us behind. Waiting for her to return is such a chore ! Then we have to be patient during our rewriting and editing process. Think about it...how many times has that muse said, "Take this out, it holds up the action," and you say, "But it's so beatifully written!" We fall in love with our own words, and it takes a great deal of patience to delete them forever.
Then, of course, there's the waiting time. We've sent out our queries, sometimes for as many as 5 or 10 different stories and/or articles. Now we wait. And wait. And wait. Days pass and turn into weeks, which pass and turn into months. We're still waiting. Patiently. Yeah, right! If we're so patiently waiting, then how come we shove everyone out of our way in order to get to the mailbox first, regardless of who we might knock down in the process? If we're so patiently waiting, how come we scream and yell and tear up any envelopes that aren't from a publisher? If we're so patiently waiting, how come it's so difficult to continue to write while we waiting for what we've already written to be accepted...or...rejected?
Patience! Why is it so hard to come by? When I was teaching at the university, my students would sometimes call me at home ( with permission), and my husband would tell me that I had "the patience of Job" with them. But when I started to write, it seems like that word totally escaped my vocabulary!
How about you? How much patience do you have?
Then, of course, there's the waiting time. We've sent out our queries, sometimes for as many as 5 or 10 different stories and/or articles. Now we wait. And wait. And wait. Days pass and turn into weeks, which pass and turn into months. We're still waiting. Patiently. Yeah, right! If we're so patiently waiting, then how come we shove everyone out of our way in order to get to the mailbox first, regardless of who we might knock down in the process? If we're so patiently waiting, how come we scream and yell and tear up any envelopes that aren't from a publisher? If we're so patiently waiting, how come it's so difficult to continue to write while we waiting for what we've already written to be accepted...or...rejected?
Patience! Why is it so hard to come by? When I was teaching at the university, my students would sometimes call me at home ( with permission), and my husband would tell me that I had "the patience of Job" with them. But when I started to write, it seems like that word totally escaped my vocabulary!
How about you? How much patience do you have?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday Musing
Have you ever thought about why you write? No, that's not a rhetorical question, I'm serious. Why do you write? It's stressful, frustrating, taxing, sometimes even boring when you are being forced to meet a deadline. It is a lonely occupation, one that most non-writers simply don't understand. It takes time away from husbands, wives, children, and life in general. So...why do you write?
I've heard people say: "It's my life"; "It's in my blood"; "I live for writing" or "I can't live without writing." Oh, come on! If it's your life, you need to get a life! We know it's not in your blood, and if all you live for is writing, see above...get a life.
When we're not being overly dramatic, we should really think about why we write. Writers have to have an oversized ego, don't you agree? I mean, if we're so determined that what we have to say is something that all readers, in my case, children, absolutely have to read, doesn't that say something about our egos? Or maybe even, a slight bit of superiority complex?
Now, in the past, I would never have agreed to someone telling me I had a superiority complex...or even, an over-indulged ego. But the last few years, I've really been wondering about that. There is something inside of me that says...you need to write...or you should write. At least I've never felt that all I had to live for is writing. On the other hand, would I be the same person I am today if I was not writing?
I'm an artist. I believe that I write because I want to paint pictures with words, just as I paint them on canvas. I think I'm mostly trying to satisfy that little demon-ego that sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear. Of course, she tells me that writing is more important than painting, but I really don't believe her.
I want to open children's eyes to the wonders of imagination and fantasy, to truth and valor, to love and honor. I want them, especially teens, to see that there is beauty and joy in the world, that life does not have to be lived on the dark side. For those who do live on the dark side, I want to reasssure them they will come out into the light. I want to show them that opening their minds and their hearts will lead them to reaching for the stars, and even if those stars are never within their grasp, their journey towards them was never in vain.
This is why I write. Why do you?
I've heard people say: "It's my life"; "It's in my blood"; "I live for writing" or "I can't live without writing." Oh, come on! If it's your life, you need to get a life! We know it's not in your blood, and if all you live for is writing, see above...get a life.
When we're not being overly dramatic, we should really think about why we write. Writers have to have an oversized ego, don't you agree? I mean, if we're so determined that what we have to say is something that all readers, in my case, children, absolutely have to read, doesn't that say something about our egos? Or maybe even, a slight bit of superiority complex?
Now, in the past, I would never have agreed to someone telling me I had a superiority complex...or even, an over-indulged ego. But the last few years, I've really been wondering about that. There is something inside of me that says...you need to write...or you should write. At least I've never felt that all I had to live for is writing. On the other hand, would I be the same person I am today if I was not writing?
I'm an artist. I believe that I write because I want to paint pictures with words, just as I paint them on canvas. I think I'm mostly trying to satisfy that little demon-ego that sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear. Of course, she tells me that writing is more important than painting, but I really don't believe her.
I want to open children's eyes to the wonders of imagination and fantasy, to truth and valor, to love and honor. I want them, especially teens, to see that there is beauty and joy in the world, that life does not have to be lived on the dark side. For those who do live on the dark side, I want to reasssure them they will come out into the light. I want to show them that opening their minds and their hearts will lead them to reaching for the stars, and even if those stars are never within their grasp, their journey towards them was never in vain.
This is why I write. Why do you?
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